Last night, I dreamed that I was with a group of people who were practicing saying the word no together. That’s all: we just repeated the word, slowly at first and then with confidence, until the sound of no was normal and not so scary anymore.

I knew in my dream that we didn’t have to practice the word yes because that word would come to us easily, automatically. Agreement and acceptance, going along with the crowd, being liked, being compliant—no one needs to practice easy street. We would find a yes for every fitting situation without even having to search for it, without even having to think.

But some moments would demand a much braver no, and no demands practice, intentionality, resolve. You cannot say no in front of a smoking gun without strength of character to carry you through. We practiced because we knew the moment would come, and when it came, we would have already made the decision to choose conviction over comfort, always. We wouldn’t have to bear the weight of a dizzying decision in the heat of the emotional moment, because we had done the hard work of choosing well in advance: just no. No. No. No.

this is my never-ending no
to all coercion and control